gratitudes, toxic femininity, toxic masculinity, message to the armed services
yesterday i was grateful for alexandra who introduced herself...
today i am looking forward to being me...
winter gray skies... a damp chill in the air... a regular at kitchen and coffee, a young woman with long dark hair and nice smile, greets me as she walks up... we are waiting for the cafe to open... yesterday a woman i have talked to before reminded me of that... yankee girl she told me... alluding to the fact that she was wearing a yankee jersey when i last talked to her... she tells me her name is alexandra... i tell her my name... yesterday i was wearing a black maxi dress and nice blue-gray knit coat from poetry... matching burn orange lipstick and nail polish... it makes me happy to encounter women who are receptive to my feminine... at least that is how i interperate woman who don't know me except by sight that willingly and warmly interact with me...
yesterday i had a whole blog post prepared... i went to save it as draft and lost it all... i had run out of time and will to redo it...
one of the things i wanted to write about is toxic femininity... that there is such a thing... though not as broadly developed as the concept of toxic masculinity... i was interested in the difference... toxic femininity is something done to women and that women do to themselves and each other... it is the forced or chosen retreat into the characteristics of femininity... what betty friedan called the feminine mystique...
Toxic Femininity | Psychology Today
“Toxic femininity," if it exists, she wrote, "encourages silent acceptance of violence and domination in order to survive ... It’s a thing women do to keep our value, which the patriarchy has told us is conditional upon our ability to bear violent domination … Toxic masculinity also makes women feel locked into a performance of their gender bereft of the normal impulses we have toward independence, sexual agency, anger, volume, messiness, ugliness, and being a tough bird to swallow."
so, something that happens to women...
toxic masculinity is different... men are encouraged to be patriarchal figures, especially in western culture, but in so many other cultures too... they are encouraged to dominate through violence... so, in a way, it is something that is done to them and that they do to each other... but it is also something they do to the world around them...
The concept of toxic masculinity is used in academic and media discussions to refer to those aspects of hegemonic masculinity that are socially destructive, such as misogyny, homophobia, and violent domination. These traits are considered "toxic" due in part to their promotion of violence, including sexual assault and domestic violence. Socialization of boys sometimes also normalizes violence, such as in the saying "boys will be boys" about bullying and aggression.
toxic femininity is a response to toxic masculinity...
the capitalist economic system we pursue entrenches patriarchy and toxic masculinity... it is an agressive and exploitative economic system that wages war on people and the environment...
i used to think that the world needed more women in power... that when there were more women in power, the world would be a better place... seeing the number of women ready to adopt the toxic masculine paradigm in the trump administration and in politics has shifted my thinking... women are as capable of upholding the violently eploitative capitalist paradigm as men are... especially when they are steeped in it, as they are in western culture...
instead, i have shifted my thinking to believing that what the world needs more of is to value the feminine... at minimum, the feminine needs to claim equal space in the power structure... we need to evolve an economic system that values feminine power...
a major news story of the last couple of days has been the commercial made by democratic legislators who served in intelligence and the armed services... the commercial urges current members of the armed services and intelligence community to remember their oath to the constitution and rule of law... it tells them they can and are obligated to refuse to follow illegal orders... the trump administration response was not surprising...
Trump spent this morning calling a group of military veterans in Congress traitors and saying they “should be ARRESTED AND PUT ON TRIAL.” Their crime, in Trump’s eyes, was their release Tuesday of a video reminding military and intelligence officers that they must refuse illegal orders.
this can be viewed as a response to the extrajudicial killings of venezuelans in boats and the growing worry that the administration is preparing on the ground action in venezuela... but these are people in a position to know things, and i wonder if they know of other, closer to home, plans the administration has for deploying the military...
a few photographs from this morning's walk...
