finding my tribe, trans history in a graphic novel, michael as a woman's name, tangerine movie, lgbtq+ art, nude photography, harley weir
yesterday i was grateful for oliver, a trans woman in stanza...
today i am looking forward to figuring out what is wrong with the washing machine...
i had an interesting and nice experience... i went into the local book store to purchase a copy of trans history, on the history of trans that reaches back to ancient rome... i have been eyeing the book but held off buying it in case my wife made a gift of it for christmas... she didn't, but said she thought about it and was unsure... she got me a book on sally mann instead... a photographer heroine of mine...
there was a blond haired woman at the front desk... she welcomed me in a masculine voice and i thought... is she trans?... a deeper masculine voice is often a tell, but not always... i went back to where i had last seen the book in the store, found it, grabbed it, and returned to the front to purchase... i was wearing a noticeable coppery red metallic lipstick and my nails were painted a metallic green... i was wear rings that were feminine in nature... she asked me if i had an account and i gave her my last name... she said "michael?"... then she said, "if there is another name you would like to go by i can change it in the system"... or something to that effect... she was acknowledging my trans presentation and thinking i might not be entirely satisfied with being michael... i told her that michael could go either way... that both girls and boys have been named michael...
Michael (given name) - Wikipedia
While Michael is most often a masculine name, it is also given to women, such as the actresses Michael Michele and Michael Learned, and Michael Steele, the former bassist for the Bangles.
they told me they were called oliver... that people wondered what to call them... they said they were cool with it all... i told them i was pleased to meet them... then i took my book and left the store...
i was a little flustered by oliver... it was surprising to me that a young trans woman (in their 20's?) was so forward with a trans feminine person in their 70's... but then i guess when one trans person finds another, it is like finding your tribe and you make the effort to connect...
in the new year i am planning on being more focused on my trans identity... and on finding my tribe and spending time with them... finding trans literature and educating myself... i have a lot of catching up to do...
it has become important to me to find trans art, trans literature, trans movies, trans tv shows... i find they help me locate myself and feel more secure in my transness... on christmas day we watched tangerine... the story is a day in the life of two trans sex workers... i have no plans to be a sex worker, but i found myself identifying with Sin-Dee Rella, the main character in the movie... not because there was anything about her life that was familiar to me, but because of how she maintained her image of herself as a she... in a climactic scene at the end she has a cup of urine thrown in her face by a group of transphobic men pretending to be a possible client... she goes with her friend Alexandra to a laundromat to clean her clothes and her wig... she disrobes down to her underpants and bra, pulls padding cups out of her bra and removes her wig... she is visibly uncomfortable, especially without her wig... Alexandra lends her their wig...
because i don't have breasts or a vagina or a particularly feminine face, i rely on the clothes i wear, the styling of my hair, makeup, and sometimes a padded bra... i am big and masculine enough in stature that i don't think many people take me for a woman... i would be surprised if they did... i am more or less at peace with that... what is important to me is feeling feminine... feeling womanly... and so i wear dresses, women's underwear, makeup, and style my hair long... all meant to reinforce my sense of femininity when i look in a mirror... on this level i get Sin-Dee... i am still working it out... this morning i ordered a couple of body suits with bra built in and removable padding...
the bra i have rides up a little because my breasts are pretty small... i am thinking the body suit will be a more comfortable solution to the suggestion of feminine breasts when i want that... as will the slight body shaping it offers...
this morning i focused on LGBTQ+ stories and resources...
i found out about trans history month sponsored by QueerAF out of england... i signed up for their newsletter...
there was also this item in hyperallergic...
A Year of Elevating LGBTQ+ Artists
The experiences that most stood out to me as an art critic and editor this year were those that brought attention to some of these exhibitions. In addition to my review of Dzubilo’s show, I was able to cover another historically significant show, Dueñas de la Noche: Trans Lives and Dreams in 1980s Caracas at the Institute for Studies on Latin American Art. Alexis Clements wrote about The Met’s Casa Susanna, while Emma Cieslik covered Spectrum of Desire: Love, Sex, and Gender in the Middle Ages at The Met Cloisters.
and this item in anothermagazine.com caught my attention...
The Best Photos of 2025: Portrayals of Nudity and the Body
From Masahisa Fukase’s tale of sexual obsession to Harley Weir’s meditation on coming of age, here are the best photo projects featured on AnOther this year
i was especially drawn to images in a show by Harley Weir...
Hannah Barry Gallery, London From June 5th until September 13th, 2025. In The Garden, Harley Weir transforms Hannah Barry Gallery into a mythic compost heap-where memory decays, the body moults, and desire ferments. The title, deceptively pastoral, conceals a deeper, darker soil: not Eden, but aftermath. Here, the garden is less a place of innocence than of intimate ruin, where relics of girlhood and womanhood collapse into one another, forming a psychic terrain that’s more archaeological than idyllic.
a couple of photographs from this morning...
what i made for dinner last night...
from the inside of my car while waiting for the coffee shop to open...
