wolf in sheep's clothing, cyberdeck, meshtastic, lo-ra
yesterday i was grateful for dinner with holly at wonder bar...
today i am looking forward to buying plants for my planter tanks...
trying something new... my general routine in the morning is to walk main street and photograph whatever attracts my attention and then go to one of my favorite coffee shops, edit photos, write in my journal, read, etc... somehow i never get to writing a blog post and i really did mean for this blog to be daily or almost daily... so... instead of opening up my journal and editing my photographs, i am writing on my blog... this is my first writing activity of the day... maybe a new routine will lead to more posting...
many things swimming around in my brain... one of them is the phrase "wolf in sheep's clothing"... i thought this might be from a fairy tale, but it turns out it's from christ's sermon on the mount... which i suppose from my point of view is a bit of a fairy tale... but... western civilization is permeated by christianity in a way no fairytale matches...
at any rate, the reason this phrase has been going through my mind is the dual nature, as i have come to see it, of my libido... one of my morning rituals is to download photographs of very attractive young women from behance... mostly fashion and beauty shots... some portraiture... the occasional tasteful nude... i do this to steep myself in the feminine mystique i so thoroughly enjoy and want to be a part of... this includes sexual attraction... many of the images elicit a pleasant sexual response... i am certain that some of my sexual response is "male gaze"... i think there is also "female gaze", or feminine to feminine sexual attraction... truthfully, i am not sure there is a real distinction between female and male gaze... sexual attraction is sexual attraction... so i cloak myself in feminine expression... i move through the world with feminine colored glasses on... but there is a sexual gaze that i can't separate from masculine me... wolf in sheep's clothing?...
to further this analogy, i am making lots of women friends... more and more they are letting me into womanly comraderie... i have never had such an easy time making friends as i do now with women... i always preferred woman for relationships... but in my masculine presenting and behaving form, women as just friends was difficult... there was always the male/female sexual tension to worry about from at least one of our points of view... now that i wear dresses and make myself up, the question of will he hit on me is resolved to probably not... i am attracted to some of the female friends i am making, but i am looking for friendships with women... not sex... so it is easy to keep it in the background... and so... more and more i am being invited into the inner sanctum of womanhood... which i love... it's my "eternal mildness of joy" to be so steeped in the feminine... but the sexual attraction is still there sometimes... wolf in sheep's clothing?...
earlier this week i took delivery of a heltec meshpocket qi2 magnetic charging power bank... this is the result of an article i read in dazed on building a cyberdeck... in addition to explaining what a cyberdeck is (a stand alone device that has all your important media content saved to it), it mentioned that there is a growing movement of lo-ra usage... lo-ra is long range radio communication... and there is a community of alternative communication nerds that have set up an off the grid communications protocol called meshtastic...
i am not the only one who thinks we may be facing a future apocalypse it seems... so... the heltec meshpocket device is sweet... it combines phone and device recharging with a lo-ra send/receive device built into it... i justified buying it based on the backup battery... i thought it would be an immediately useful cool way to see what lo-ra is all about... did i say there is a meshtastic app for my iPhone that manages the device and provides a better interface for reading messages and writing them?...
my next purchase will be a portable solar recharging station... when disaster strikes or society collapses, or even if there is just a more normal power outage, i will be able to communicate and charge...
some photos...
