angst, dystopia, cosmic prayer, italian sausage soup, my femmen anniversary
yesterday i was grateful for a walk in dodge preserve with holly and the dogs...
today i am looking forward to my morning routines and more block island beauty...
a cloudless sky this morning... not as much wind as yesterday... i am feeling full of angst... having thoughts of how profoundly dystopic the present moment is... having trouble shaking depression, which visits me daily... not debilitating... but the sadness makes creative effort a swim against the current...
i said a prayer to the cosmos this morning... i asked the cosmos what it needed me to manifest... what it wanted me to bring into the world... what did it want me to understand the truth of...
last night i made this italisn sausage soup... holly and marilyn liked it... i think it is a stellar recipe because it is simple, quick and flavorful... i like cooking...
it is almost exactly two years ago that i bought my first tube of lipstick and began my journey to outward feminine expression... three months ago i made this post about my experience...
my feminine, almost two years in :: Essays On Attention Paid
during the past 21 months i became progressively bolder with my look… i moved from garments walking the line between masculine and feminine to garments, like flowy maxi dresses, that are unmistakably women’s clothing… i moved from barely noticeable flesh tone lipstick to shades of pink, copper and then bold red… it has been an extended normalizing process… for my wife, my family, my community, myself… i needed to get used to being womanly… wearing lipstick, jewelry and dresses in public… i needed to figure out how safe i was presenting as a womanly man in public…
it's a long post but should be read in full if you want a fuller account of my journey...
i love myself in ways i never thought possible before... not in any kinky kind of way... simply that this iteration of me is about as authentic as i have ever been... happy femmen aniversary to me!...
and here i have the answer to my cosmic prayer...