hello, it's me
a quote from the Todd Rundgren song seems appropriate... my wife Holly is a huge fan and i set up this daily me blog a while ago and haven't done much with it... so... hello, it's me again...
its a cool but beautiful day... autumn in the Hudson Valley is the best time of year for weather and natural aesthetics... also a busy time of year... we have been out late multiple nights attending local events... a fundraiser... an album release party... and today another fundraiser for the local animal shelter... and the leaf peepers and weekenders arrive in big numbers...
i am American... i am deeply disappointed in my government... i am worried about where we will land as a people... when the election was over last year i enacted a coping strategy... the basics of it are...
- no tv news
- a daily gratitude practice
- minimal social media interaction
- lots of yoga
- as much in person interaction with my local community as possible
- i insist on being true to myself
- i refuse to give up my joy
it has been working pretty well... i am aware of what is happening... i protest when called to... i make myself present to the people around me... i live as authentically as i know how to...
this has involved a substantial change in my expression of self... i began exploring trans-feminine presentation... i wear makeup and dresses and skirts... i paint my nails vivid colors... i embrace the feminine as a divine force and project it...
this authenticity of self has been surprisingly well received... to be sure, some don't react well to it... they are a small minority... i get a ton of support from women and men... complimenting me on my look... embracing my feminine presence...
my transition to open feminine expression began a year before the election... after the election i was afraid i would have to tamp it down... but i have not and nothing in my day to day experience suggests that i should... it is, in fact, my daily act of resistance... to be me... authentically...
i have found that this authenticity has attracted people to me, not driven them away... sometimes i am sad that it took me so long to arrive at this self... i turned 70 in April... i started manifesting outwardly when i was 68... a late bloomer?... better late than never?...
i can truthfully say i am as happy as i have ever been, with the possible exception of when i fell in love with my wife... though that was a tumultuous time in ways having nothing to do with her...
one of my favorite quotes from Herman Melville's Moby Dick comes to mind here...
But even so, amid the tornadoed Atlantic of my being, do i myself still for ever centrally disport in mute calm; and wile ponderous planets of unwaning woe revolve around me, deep down and deep inland there I still bathe me in eternal mildness of joy.
i don't know what's in store... whatever it is, i will show up being unapologetically me carrying with me my "eternal mildness of joy"...