pronouns
since i entered trans feminine space, i have played around with different configurations of pronouns and haven’t found a natural fit… bodily, “he” is accurate… psychologically and emotionally, not so much… i enjoy the idea of being “she” the most, even as my internal dialogue defaults to "he" most of the time… the "she" in me is strong, but not fully dominant… i feel compelled to wear women’s clothing… i don’t feel compelled to change the sex of my body… “they” is probably most accurate… but it's awkward to be a they… that might be a generational thing…
i note my struggle to remember my niece prefers “they/them”, though they are never around when i use these pronouns to refer to them… i remember this as often as i can, but as often as not, i refer to them as she, or group them into the feminine lineage of the family without thinking… i take comfort in knowing their mother doesn’t always remember either…
i would like my pronoun life to be uncomplicated… at least as pronouns apply to me… gender fluid they… feminine he… masculine she… all good with me… i accept all the pronouns… because... all of them are accurate on some level, but none of them are accurate on all levels… maybe english needs more nuance?...
i therefore leave it up to those called upon to use a pronoun to refer to me… whatever you think when you see or think of me (and the need to use referent pronouns occurs mostly when i am not being seen by you) i am fine with that…
at the end of the day, i just want to wear dresses, necklaces, bracelets and rings… put on lipstick and makeup my face… these things bring me joy of self… if i am a “he” to you, then i am a "he" that wears dresses and lipstick and makeup…
i intend no criticism of anyone who prefers a specific pronoun… they are they, and i am me… i respect them and will do my best to honor their pronoun preferences…
i have no interest in pronoun proxy struggles…
way more important to me is that you call me michael, not mike… N E V E R mike!… and that i can wear dresses…